I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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