"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
