OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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