3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
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I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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