so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
