ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
