Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
