They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
