I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
