you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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