took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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