I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
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They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
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I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.