They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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