Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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