Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
