apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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