So drunk its hurt
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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