I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
this is an emotional support booty call
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
