I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
