Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
