dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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