He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
40s are totally the cure
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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