i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
