I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
