you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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