I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
