Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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