$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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