Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
