Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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