they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
