But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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