Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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