no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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