I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
