i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
