come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
