Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
