why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
