Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
