Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
