when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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