i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize