she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
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I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Bring me that man meat
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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