Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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