a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
