Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
