dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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