corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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