hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
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you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
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Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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