Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
