Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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