Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
