Just fell off a train. Bad.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
