Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
