the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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