So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
