I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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