i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
only if we run a train.
done.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
false alarm, still single
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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