Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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